This is the season of renewal and transformation- our “New Year”. The last two years have brought many challenges… and blessings, many of which we can not yet fully see…
We are coming back in 2022 to help you renew, recalibrate, and rewire…and we are so excited about our new tools and awareness;)
Here is an offering- this song embodies life, loss, and renewal…Happy New Year!
We look forward to helping you ground yourself in new vistas! XO
Sleep quality is one of the most important health variables in our lives. Poor sleep quality disrupts our hormonal systems, energy levels, and muscle repair. Here are some simple tips to help improve your sleep quality:
Consider avoiding all screens 1-2 hours before bed. Keeping your phone in another room is also helpful!
Use a meditation app, meditation music, or a worry journal/brain dump to calm your mind before bed. Here is a guide on journaling thoughts: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201404/how-keep-thought-diary-combat-anxiety
If you frequently have to urinate in the night, try ceasing liquid intake a few hours before bed and/or reducing/eliminating alcohol in the evenings.
Make your room dark and cozy. Cool rooms usually help with sleep quality. You can also experiment with essential oils, weighted blankets, and memory foam pillows.
If urinating in the night is not an issue, try a small cup of herbal tea (mint, ginger, chamomile, etc.) before bed to relax you.
Practice a night routine in order to "train" your body to sleep.
If you are sensitive to caffeine intake, be mindful of ceasing caffeinated beverages early in the day.
Try taking Calm (magnesium citrate) before bed to relax your muscles.
Include a bath with epsom salts and/or essential oils as part of your night routine.
Finally, if you are struggling with racing repetitive thoughts and/or worry, consider the emotional real estate that’s being taken up in your brain. You have only so much bandwidth. How much space do you want this situation, this person, that conversation, that decision, this relationship to take up? Is it worth it?"
Below is a great article written by my dear friend, Bryan Yates. It explores Bryan’s personal journey with addiction, recovery, and mindset.
“An endurance mindset is about agency. It’s about being actively and thoughtfully engaged to build mindful stamina, focus, and perseverance. We often think of flexibility, mobility, agility and adaptability as athletic traits — but they can also be applied to how we relate to internal and external forces. It turns out that all these “grit credits” are bankable. And when we harness them to navigate something like the current crisis, those credits can alchemize our vulnerability and uncertainty into calm acceptance.” Bryan Yates
And here is a great song about the construct of “home”. For many of us missing the familiar, this may resonate…
As any of you know, I am a disciple and adoring fan of Dr. Peter Attia! in the following podcast, his daughter, Olivia, interviews her dad. It is fantastic and worth sharing.
What is a virus? [1:45];
How did this version of coronavirus (SARS-CoV-2) start? [4:30];
How does COVID-19 compare to SARS and MERS (previous coronaviruses)? [6:00];
Will COVID-19 come back again after we resolve the current issue? [7:15];
When will kids go back to school? [7:45];
How has the US surpassed China in total cases, and how could we have been better prepared for this? [8:30];
Should have we started to quarantine sooner than we actually did? [11:45];
What about herd immunity? Would it be easier if we all just got the virus so we could be immune? [13:45];
Which age groups are the least and most at risk for getting a deadly version of the virus? [15:00];
Why do we have to wipe down packages that are delivered to our homes? [16:30];
How a lack of preparation and discipline led to this troubling situation [18:45];
Is China to blame for all of this? [24:15];
What did Olivia think when her parents pulled her out of school before it was mandated? [26:30];
What’s been the hardest part of this for Olivia? [27:50];
What does Olivia appreciate now that she probably didn’t appreciate in the past? [28:50];
How are Olivia’s zone 2 workouts going? [30:00]; and
“I am not my thoughts…”
"Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment." - Rumi
Thinking can point us to what is beyond words, but our fear thoughts can overtake us. We all have a tendency to lock into what is wrong in ourselves and the world- our reptilian brains are hard wired to see the “wrong” in order to survive.
If you are struggling with anxiety or fear in your body, pay attention to your mind. Our thoughts perpetuate our emotions…climbing into a news rabbit hole at 11pm can be physically debilitating and on the other side of the coin, looking for the Good and taking inventory of the beauty in and around you can be salve to the soul…
The video below is an excellent talk on how to first recognize and then transform your thoughts
Many of my clients build Joy Boxes. They decorate and fill a container with an assortment of paper scraps. Each scrap lists a small activity, sensation, or experience that brings joy, comfort, solace, etc.
For many, food and drink are default joy sources, but like anything, too much of something is never a good thing. Training your brain to reach for other comfort sources is an integral part of changing behavior. So here is my current “Quarantine Joy Box”. Hopefully something inspires you!
Plant a seedling
Go on a Sidewalk Safari in your neighborhood
Make leaf rubbings
Collect leaves and identify them (including Latin) in a “leaf collection”
Listen to True Crime podcasts- Casefile Podcasts
Reread a favorite book The Awakening- Kate Chopin
Write a Haiku
Ghost slips under dust
Lighting illuminates spring
Shadows through my toes
Play with watercolors
Sketch yourself
Create a magazine collage
Learn the Bachata
Make a Dance Party playlist and host a virtual dance party
Pick tangerines and give them away
Knot a chunky blanket
Play with Robinhood stocks
Make LCHF muffins- Lemon Sour Cream Muffins
Create interval workouts to share with class
Have a video pedicure party
Call my loved ones on video
Revisit the Artist’s Way
Deliver groceries to a neighbor
Practice Italian or brush up on French
Start a virtual short story book club with friends using the Yellow Wallpaper
Practice the guitar
Do a kick flip on a skateboard
Organize and sort digital photos
Run, run, and run again…
“In this episode, Dr. Peter Hotez M.D., Ph.D., Dean for the National School of Tropical Medicine Baylor College of Medicine, returns to continue the conversation on COVID-19. Dr. Hotez informs us on how we can gauge the number of infected people, behaviors to reduce the probability of becoming infected, and the inconsistency of hospitalizations among young adults between different countries. Dr. Hotez underscores the continued uncertainty in many virus-related developments, but ends with some points of optimism.
Disclaimer: This is information accurate as of March 19, 2020, when it was recorded.” Dr. Peter Attia
How to gauge true number of infected people [5:45]
Reducing the probability of getting infected [22:45]
Inconsistency by country in infected young people [27:15]
Conferred immunity, seasonality, and repurposed therapeutics [30:30]
Vaccine development [39:30]
Practical behaviors to reduce risk of transmission [46:00]
Mental Health resource and funding [51:00]
Points of optimism [56:00]
During this season, many of us are dancing with rapid lifestyle change and countless unknowns. Some are wired to thrive with changing currents while others can get stuck in an internal fear vortex. Some want to “solve the inner angst” so they stockpile toilet paper and build fortresses of beans and rice- all in an attempt to create a sense of safety and control. Fear turns on our primal brains.
“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into it’s dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment.
― Pema Chödrön”
This fear can be paralyzing and does damage on numerous fronts. First of all, our myopic hoarding isolates us from community (us against all mentality) and secondly, our fear thoughts can produce acute physiological stress. We know staying in a positive mindset is essential if we want to stay physically healthy- so how do we stay out of the trance of fear? There is a simple answer…
Gratitude
When I was in seminary, a wise professor said this, “all brokenness in the world can be linked to lack of gratitude…”
This quote was shared in a class lecture and embedded in my psyche… and now, almost 20 years later, I still agree- just in much deeper ways.
“The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.
-Henri Nouwen”
So how do we cultivate gratitude? Many of our clients have integrated a Gratitude Journal into their morning routine. It sounds trite, but according to feedback, this practice has been a significant variable in changing mindset and disposition. Here is a great practical guide on creating a Gratitude Journal from UC Berkeley.
Cultivating gratitude leads to deeper appreciation, not only for what you have (including your body) but also the kindness others extend towards you. As appreciation deepens so does empathy. Getting out of your own story and extending a hand to another is a goodness elixir. It is a scientific fact that giving increases positive chemicals in your body. If you need proof, here is a summary on the Neuroscience of Giving from Psychology Today,
So in closing, I want to share a dose of personal gratitude. I grew up in Dryden, Michigan in a small cottage nestled in a rural historical park. The cottage included a wood burning stove, a vacant outhouse in the backyard, and an artesian well. My parents ran a very tight ship when we were young. I remember collecting refund “pop” cans in the park with my mom, cutting coupons, rolling pennies, and foraging for wild asparagus on the side of the road for dinner. Most of our toys and clothes were hand-me-downs and towels hung like curtains on the bathroom window, but we didn’t know any comparison- we had enough.
Although we had very little material wealth by American standards, we were raised with an abundant mindset and were taught the joy of giving from an early age. If you are not familiar with scarcity vs abundant mindset- here is a great summary of scarcity mentality- the thrust is that you never feel you “have enough”. In contrast- we wrapped up toys from our small stash at Christmas to give to kids in need; rescued every stray that came to our door in the dead of winter; and always waited in the back of the buffet line.
Both of my parents could have succumbed to scarcity mentality. My dad knew both what it felt like to go to bed hungry and what it felt like to sleep in a fox hole. My mom knew what it felt like to be homeless and nomadic as a young girl in the 60s. Both of them knew poverty, but instead of closing their fists and hoarding their goods, they extended their hands to neighbors and strangers.
My parents were not religious- there was no one watching. They weren’t earning accolades for their generosity. Rather-their actions and kindness came from a place of deep empathy: and I will be forever grateful to them for this modeling. I believe my life overflows with love and goodness because I have experienced this truth:
“Authentic spellbinding joy is derived from giving out and bathing in abundant gratitude for all you have been given…”
My heart breaks for those whose fear has blockaded this joy…If you find yourself caught in a trance of fear and tight fisted living, perhaps starting a Gratitude Journal and/or reaching out to someone in need is an important first step in getting out of your own way.
KEEPING STILL
Pablo Neruda
Now we will count to twelve
and let's keep quiet.
For once on earth
let's not talk in any language;
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
A moment like that would smell sweet,
no hurry, no engines,
all of us at the same time
in need of rest.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would stop harming whales
and the gatherer of salt
would look at his hurt hands.
T hose who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories vvith no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and go for a walk with their brothers
out in the shade, doing nothing.
Just don't confuse what I want
with total inaction;
it's life and life only;
I'm not talking about death.
If we weren't so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving
and could maybe do nothing for once
a huge silence might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves,
of threatening ourselves with death;
perhaps the earth could teach us;
everything would seem dead
and then be alive.
Now l will count up to twelve
and you keep quiet
and I will go.
Here is a link to all of Dr. Peter Attia’s videos on COVID-19. Very informative.
https://podcastnotes.org/the-drive-with-dr-peter-attia/covid-19-coronavirus/
“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. ”
This is a great summary of a SHAME SPIRAL. Many of us struggle with this trance. Identifying and naming our own patterns is the first step in shifting the downward spiral.
We are hard-wired for belonging. In this short 5-minute video, Tara shares the wisdom of children as they answer the question: What does love mean?
“Without patience, we will learn less in life. We will see less. We will feel less. We will hear less. Ironically, rush and more usually mean less.” Mother Theresa
In honor of V-Day, here are some practical relationship tips from Kyle Benson. Kyle works with the Gottman Institute , which researches the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated.
“Valentine's Day is a reminder to cherish, emotionally connect, and romance our lover. While buying chocolate, roses, and teddy bears is cute, I think what our partner wants most is to know that we cherish who they are and the way they enhance our lives.
Here are four tips for helping your partner feel cherished today:
1. Ask open-ended questions about your "Story of Us" such as: "What was your first impression of me?" Then share your first impression of your partner. Talk about what you found exciting or how you felt nervous to talk to them. Then ask your significant other, "What is your favorite memory of us?" and "What were your top three highlights in our relationship from this past year?" Share about ways you think your relationship has grown and how you two have overcome challenges together.
2. Tell your partner five things you cherish about them and give an example. For example, "I love how playful you are. During our last date, you made things extra playful by starting that guessing game during dinner. I really cherish that about you because it makes my life so fun."
3. Go through any photos you took during the past year and share what you loved about those photos or the experiences you captured in the photo. One of my favorite photos is one of me and my partner snorkeling as it reminds me of how adventurous we are during our vacations.
Bringing up playful and enjoyable memories can help invite more closeness and connection.
4. Romance your partner. Tell your partner what you find attractive about them. Kiss them. Hold their hand. Flirt. Do all the things you did when you first started dating to impress them.” Kyle Benson
“Vitally, the human race is dying. It is like a great uprooted tree, with its roots in the air. We must plant ourselves again in the universe.” ― D.H. Lawrence”
