In honor of V-Day, here are some practical relationship tips from Kyle Benson. Kyle works with the Gottman Institute , which researches the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated.
“Valentine's Day is a reminder to cherish, emotionally connect, and romance our lover. While buying chocolate, roses, and teddy bears is cute, I think what our partner wants most is to know that we cherish who they are and the way they enhance our lives.
Here are four tips for helping your partner feel cherished today:
1. Ask open-ended questions about your "Story of Us" such as: "What was your first impression of me?" Then share your first impression of your partner. Talk about what you found exciting or how you felt nervous to talk to them. Then ask your significant other, "What is your favorite memory of us?" and "What were your top three highlights in our relationship from this past year?" Share about ways you think your relationship has grown and how you two have overcome challenges together.
2. Tell your partner five things you cherish about them and give an example. For example, "I love how playful you are. During our last date, you made things extra playful by starting that guessing game during dinner. I really cherish that about you because it makes my life so fun."
3. Go through any photos you took during the past year and share what you loved about those photos or the experiences you captured in the photo. One of my favorite photos is one of me and my partner snorkeling as it reminds me of how adventurous we are during our vacations.
Bringing up playful and enjoyable memories can help invite more closeness and connection.
4. Romance your partner. Tell your partner what you find attractive about them. Kiss them. Hold their hand. Flirt. Do all the things you did when you first started dating to impress them.” Kyle Benson
“Vitally, the human race is dying. It is like a great uprooted tree, with its roots in the air. We must plant ourselves again in the universe.” ― D.H. Lawrence”